How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?

Virginia Woolf

Welcome

Welcome narcissists! Oh, I don’t mean you, or do I…………?

I’ve been greatly encouraged by the enthusiastic responses I’ve had to my first potty mouthed purge. That said, as is often the case for those of us in a relationship with the medicines, I’ve had a perspective shift, aka a shroom zoom, since I wrote it.

I’ve realised that whilst it’s all well and good to preach to the converted. There are others who may also benefit from hearing about an approach to psychedelic experience that prioritises care and harm reduction before all else. Besides, I don’t really hate narcissists, although I couldn’t eat a whole one…

After all, we all possess narcissistic tendencies, although some of us may be more self-aware than others. A few of us have also learnt from bitter experience, that unfortunately you can’t wear the psychedelic ring of power all of the time. As said previously, more about that later. N.B. If you are reading this and thinking “SHIT! I didn’t realise that (grimacing face emoji with clenched teeth).” Don’t worry! We can all work on this together and if worse comes to worst, I know a good nurse who will happily accompany you to the nearest accident and emergency department, to get the offending article cut from your finger.

The work

The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face it

Terence McKenna

I am currently trying to face and embody some of the insights I have received during my own recent medicine experiences. Letting go of some things that are no longer serving me, such as an over reliance on alcohol to quiet my overactive mind, reevaluating some important relationships and trying to decide what is the best use of my limited time here on Earth.

I guess this is what some people describe a “doing the work” and this can be evidenced by how bloody hard it can be at times.

Many of us in the Western world are pretty accomplished at the “calling in” aspect of intention setting and a little less practiced at the art of letting things go and being grateful for what is already here.

Although I do occasionally, cautiously use the term “the work.” I sometimes find the phrase, often used to describe the activities we may choose to do as part of our integration process following a psychedelic experience, triggering. My aversion usually arises when someone else enforces their interpretation or model of what “the work” should look like or when it’s used to suggest the reason a person hasn’t made the progress they, or their facilitators had hoped for, is because they haven’t really tried hard enough (observed by me in clinical settings) , or else they haven’t been willing to let things/spirits go (also observed by me in more spiritual arenas).

STOP F’ING BLAMING YOUR PARTICIPANT

NURSE JO 2023

This issue will undoubtedly warrant a blog post of its own at some point,  it seemingly being so rife within so many psychedelic settings but please don’t blame your participant, their background, social economic status, colour, ethnicity, parents, shoe size, or star sign etc. For things that could actually be your fault, due to lack of experience, observation, expertise, substance competence, or that of the organisation, setting, process, culture etc. Or else, just happen, because life is complicated and psychedelics are not a simply a pharmacological intervention or a miracle cure for every ill. Doing this not only makes you look a bit stupid but it arguably prevents you from using your agency to help or change the situation and could harm the people in your care.

Right where was I? Focus Jo, back to the work.

Of course, some of the most important downloads, insights, guidance that we often get from these experiences aren’t rocket science (unless of course you ARE a rocket scientist). They are often rather simple prompts or reminders, like it’s ok, move your body, go outside, get more sleep, eat well, slow down, pay attention, consume less, be kinder, pick up that guitar/pen/paintbrush/trowel and spend more time with people who make you feel good etc. Most of us already know these things may make us and others feel better but there is often something about the psychedelic experience that can help us to do the things we say we want to do with a bit more grace and ease.

I remember how a seriously mentally unwell person recently recounted, following a series of profound medicine journeys, how she used to think her previous lack of progress was due to laziness, was therefore a character deficit and she simply hadn’t been trying hard enough. Now she was doing the same things as before but they just felt easier to do and she was consequently having more success.

We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year

Someone wise

Although not terribly sexy, it’s often small changes, done regularly such as adding a daily walk or consuming a little less social media, food or booze, that over time add up to significant and lasting changes.

Letting go, not giving up

Another thing I let go of this week was my shotgun licence. My husband is a farmer. Although sometimes seldom used, most  farmers have access to guns, if only to be able to respond to an occasional situation, such as a seriously injured deer, the cycle of birth and death never being far away. 

My husband was also a competitive Olympic Skeet shooter, at one point, shooting for England. This stopped when the anxiety of competing took all the joy out of the process and he went back his other restrictive interest, sailing.

I obtained my own licence during this phase, although I never really got into it.  This licence was due for renewal this week but I decided to let it lapse, as I have no need for it and the absurdity that I am allowed to possess a gun, yet not a mushroom is not lost on me. And I am supposed to be the one with learning difficulties???.

A call to arms

Although this may arguably put me at somewhat of a a disadvantage during the impending apocalypse, I’m feeling more inclined to take up a different weapon for now, a pen. Although not really a pen because the reality is I will have to dictate these posts onto my phone, as this is the only way I will be able to do them because, not only am I a Nurse and a Psychedelic Nurse at that but I am a Neurodiverse Psychedelic Nurse (I know, just when you thought I couldn’t get any better) and this will undoubtedly present its own unique challenges whilst attempting this task.

Of course, I am curious about a culture and education system that seems designed, or rather rigged in such a way that it makes it more difficult for certain groups to express themselves and less likely to be listened to when they do so but where there is a will, there is a way, they say.

I definitely have plenty of will, in part because I am so very angry about a few things that I have observed recently from people who should know better and whom many of you would think do know better because they either keep saying so or because of the considerable space they occupy within the psychedelic space.

Now, some wise, possibly MDMA fuelled souls out there might caution me about being a psychedelic party pooper, who calls people out in the space, who are just doing their best but my friends, there are times when “doing your best” simply isn’t good enough. In fact, it may even be downright dangerous and besides, I blame it on Florence Nightingale, she is making me do it, channelling her will through my tongue and hands.

So I ask you, my early supporters. What will your contribution to this effort be, if any? Maybe you have ideas, skills, connections, questions, medicines, music, experience, influence, resources, organisational or I.T. skills (please tell me at least one of you has I.T. skills). Maybe your contribution will simply be to give moral support, put the kettle on or help Debbie to hold onto my leg (another instruction during one of her medicine journeys).

So choose your weapon and come join me because we’re going to start Flo’s Psychedelic Caregiving Army. Not like the shit Flo’s Army that the government hoped to pluck out of thin air, to get a good headline and staff the expensive, empty and redundant, Nightingale Hospitals, during the first wave of Covid pandemic. Poor Florence must have been turning in her grave. She would have attacked that particular problem with a spreadsheet and a pie chart, not her lamp, unless of course she was using it to whack someone, like a politician, over the head.

No a real army of cool people, with big hearts, hands and smiles, committed to the principles of psychedelic caregiving, to be explored and confirmed through this blog and elsewhere.

“So what will I get in return?” I hear you (particularly the narcissists) say.

Well I’m afraid Nurse Jo is all out of unicorns, pixie dust and promises of eternal life but I can bang out the odd playlist, a few jokes and I’m pretty good at taking drugs, I mean medicines.

So let’s get this party started.

Forever yours

Nurse Jo